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WHAT WORRY MAY DO TO YOU

Hey, all! It’s been some time since we last chatted, but I hope all is well with everyone. This blog will be a bit lengthy, so please bear with me.

What worrying too much can do to you?

How many of us are worriers? How many are not aware you are a worrier?

For a long time, I was a worrier even to the point that it affected my health in ways such as constant stomach problems, always feeling nauseated, facial breakouts, weight loss, and hair loss. This all started when I became a victim of abuse and domestic violence.  I suspect it was the fear and not knowing what’s to come next. How do I protect myself, my children, finances?  How do I continue to work, maintain some shelter, and ensure my survival? This was only the beginning of my worrying, and it just progressed over the years as the situations worsened.

Finally, after a visit to my doctor who explained that my hair loss, and everything else that was going on with me, was due to the stress and anxiety.  The doctor advised speaking with a counselor, someone who was non-judgmental and unfamiliar to me. My doctor told me that I was an “inner” worrier which was not good and would continue to jeopardize my health.  After a few counseling sessions, I realized that this was the best thing that I could ever have done for myself. Trust me when I say, you do NOT want to hold on to past negative experiences.  It will eat you alive and tear away at your being.  You do your best try to protect those close to you but what about protecting yourself? Anyhow, after counseling I began to worry less and was able to focus more on family and living. I have been trying to get this meditation thing down, breathing exercise and praying more to keep those nasty boogers called stress and worry out of my life.  And I have to say, it feels good to feel good.

As I got better, my hair grew back, I was able to maintain, my stomach problems went away and my face cleared up.  Some people may think speaking with counselor/psychotherapist means you must have been crazy or something, but you don’t and you’re not.  It is not a sign of weakness but strength. Sometimes you just need to talk, get “it” off your chest, open up about things kept quiet.  It would surprise you how much better you’ll feel.  There’s something enlightening about unloading all the suppressed anger, the sadness, the hurt or whatever your non-physical issues may be.

Many years have gone by since I was in a bad place, but I am definitely in a better place, feeling better about myself and not worrying as much, so I think.

Sometimes I believe that I am no longer a worrier because I stay pretty much happy these days and try to avoid all the drama that surrounds me barring the drama I watch on television. But, there are also times when I believe that worry is still lying just beneath the surface when fighting off to stress from family issues, relationship issues (feeling caught in the middle or being pulled from each end) or just concerns of the heart. Heartbreaking at times.

Other things that worry me from time to time is my writing – will I get my stories completed, will it read good, will I get my books edited and published.  Writing can get financially exhausting when you’re going at it alone. The difference between some self-publishing authors and celebrities is that when a star decides to write a book or are approached to write a book, literary agents and publishing companies seek them out and give them all the necessary people and tools to make it happen. I won’t let this stop me, and I will continue writing and trying to perfect my skill until I get tired of writing and throw in the towel, wave the white flag or scream uncle. In the meantime, everything is everything and I am hopeful that all else will fall into place.   I ask the question. How does one just turn off the worry button?

Another source of discontentment is that I have two other grandchildren that I don’t get to see, not by choice, and they are growing up without me.  This, as well as, family issues, family division, stressful work environment and other nonsense that is out of my control also try to contribute.  But I actively look for different ways to manage.  For the more personal things, I try to separate myself from the issues, but at the same time, I try not to come across as uncaring although it may seem that way to some.  As much as I know how worrying jeopardizes my health mentally, emotionally and physically, this is something I prefer not to go through anymore.  I was recently diagnosed with other health issues to include osteoarthritis and hyperthyroidism.  Both of them just suddenly popped up out of nowhere when I previously had no symptoms or signs.  But, as much as I dislike the idea of having these condition, it is good that they are under control now and I am coping with them.

I have realized, and I hope that everyone can understand, I cannot solve everyone’s problems.  I can only help where possible and give my opinion when asked.  Everyone is responsible for their own lives.  It’s hard enough keeping up with everything going on my own life, let alone trying to direct someone else’s life.  This additional stress and worry are not worth the price of my health.  I have to take care of me which means I must relax, release and remain happy.  Once I am happy, then I can share happiness.  But the opposite is true also.

I don’t know what you may worry about, but if you find yourself worrying to the point that it’s taking a toll on your life, your relationships, or even worse, your health, you owe it to yourself stop the insanity and try to find a solution that works for you to reduce your worrying.  Otherwise, it will be your health that is impacted when the issue was not yours, to begin with.  We have to make a change before it affects our health or, even worse, sends us to an early grave.  Somethings we can impact.  Something we can’t impact.  In measured doses, we should limit our concerns and worries to the things we can impact.  And furthermore, we must avoid making the small issue into extra-large issues if/when it’s not necessary and doesn’t move us closer to a good place.

I started reading “How To Stop Worrying and Start Living” By Dale Carnegie for the second time because sometimes you need just that little extra help or push.

Let me just give you a few paragraphs, paraphrasing, and quotes from the book that has given me food for thought.

Professor William James, the father of applied psychology had a formula for stress, and that same idea was expressed by Lin Yutang, a Chinese philosopher who said, “True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst.”

Rule 2, according to Willis H. Carrier, is if you have a worrying problem, you can address them by applying this magic formula found in doing these three things:

  1. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
  2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
  3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

Dr. O. F. Gober states, “Fear causes worry. Worry makes you tense and nervous and affects the nerves of your stomach and actually changes the gastric juices of your stomach from normal to abnormal and often leads to stomach ulcers.”

Dr. Joseph F. Montague says, “You do net get stomach ulcers from what you eat . You get stomach ulcers from what is eating you.”

Dr. Harold C. Habein of the Mayo Clinic says: Can any man possibly be a success who is paying for business advancement with stomach ulcers and heart trouble? What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world-and loses his health? Even if he owned the whole world, he could sleep only in one bed at a time and only eat three meals a day. Even a new employee can do that-and probably sleep more soundly and enjoy his food more than a high-powered executive. Frankly, I would rather be a carefree person with no responsibility than wreck my health at forty-five by trying to run a company.

Mayo brothers said, “nervous troubles” are caused by emotions of futility, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, defeat, despair.

Plato stated that “the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately!

Worry can put you into a wheelchair with rheumatism and arthritis says Dr. Russell L. Cecil a world recognized authority on arthritis. There are four commonest conditions that bring on arthritis:

  1. Marital shipwreck
  2. Financial disaster and grief
  3. Loneliness and worry
  4. Long-cherished resentments

Worry can cause tooth decay, Dr. Wiiliam I. L. McGonigle ADA that, “unpleasant emotions such as those caused by worry, fear, nagging…may upset the body’s calcium balance and cause tooth decay. It can also cause acute overactive thyroid problems. The thyroid gland, that gland that regulates the body, has been thrown out of kilter. It speeds up the heart-the whole body is roaring away at full blast; like a furnace with all of its drafts wide open. And if this isn’t checked, by operation or treatment, the victim, may die, may “burn himself out.”

Who would have known such a thing about tooth decay? Not me.

Dr. Israel Bram said to ask yourself, “What emotional disturbance brought on this condition?” if you don’t stop worrying, you can bring on other complications: heart trouble, stomach ulcers, or diabetes. “All these disease, “are cousins, first cousins.”

Do you love life? Do you want to live long and enjoy good health? Here is how you can do it. “Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of the modern city are immune from nervous disease.” According to Dr. Alexis Carrel

Dr. Carrell also said, “He does believe that a cheerful mental attitude helps the body fight disease, thanks to these challenging, fighting words:  Face the facts: Quit worrying; then do something about it!’”

“Those who do not know how to fight worry die young” -Dr. Alexis Carrel

Can you do this? Can you keep the peace of your inner self in the midst of the tumult of a modern city? The answer is “yes.” Most of us are stronger than we realize.

Of course, I could go on but, you will just have to read the book for yourself.

What I am writing:

I am currently writing a few short stories, no release dates now but coming soon.

What I am watching:

“13 R3asons Why” (Netflix) everyone should watch, parents, teachers, teens and counselors

“The Handmaids Tale” (Netflix)

“Harlot” (Hulu)

My Favorite Regular Series: Rebel, The Blacklist, Blacklist Redemption, Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, Fargo, Designated Survivor, Rogue, Blackish, Modern Family, Empire, PTL, Better Call Saul, Jane The Virgin, Gotham, Into The Badlands, Reign, Quantico, Outsiders, Underground, Greenleaf and caught up on season one of Imposters (remember I am open to all genres of movies)

My 2017 Reading Challenge on Goodreads:

I am reading book 13 out of my 2017 reading goal, 15. Last year my goal was 50 books and I read 51. This year I set the bar lower,  because I am a very busy woman, although I am sure I will surpass my goals.

On Another Note:

We shouldn’t worry about tomorrow or what it will bring and just make the most of today.  We should, however, give some attention to saving for our retirement years.  And if you are not investing in your future, it’s not too late to start today.   You can start putting aside $5, 10, 20, 25.00 per week, per month whatever you can afford.   You can even consider investing in a 401k, certificate of deposit (CD),  savings account, or stocks/bond.  If all else fails, but only as a last resort, put some funds away in a piggy bank, shoe box, hole in the wall, or bury it in your yard.  Just kidding on those last suggestions.  But the point is, start saving officially somewhere.  Once you make the commitment, you won’t even think about it and once one that’s out of site out of mind and build your nest egg. If you don’t, who will?

I hope you don’t plan to work your entire life, and I am sure that you wouldn’t want to.  At some point, you will want to stop working and start doing something you like – like seeing the world, starting a new business, spending more time with the grandkids, pursue a new hobby, remodel your home, drive a nice car, etc.  It’s up to you to make this sacrifice for you.  Truth be told, you can’t depend on another to take care of you when you get old – nothing is guaranteed.  Just something to think about and look into, don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.

You want to feel and look like this –

 

not like this – 

 

Until next time, peace, love, respect, and unity

“It’s Funny How People Need You Until They Don’t”

“HE’S NOT MY PRESIDENT!”

Hey, guys! How is everyone doing? Another week of sharing what’s in my heart.

I was watching the series “The Designated Survivor” with Keifer Sutherland (President Tom Kirkman) my Jack Bow-Wow. He’s not my President when I heard those words, I immediately thought of our current president. In this TV series, this man was sworn in as president because he was the designated survivor, the current President and entire staff had been killed in a terrorist attack.

He was not elected nor voted into this Presidency. Tom Kirkman, didn’t ask for the position of President and didn’t want it. He didn’t have any knowledge of running a nation. Never in the armed forces. No congressional background what so ever and Congress, the governors, and the people were so disrespectful towards him, would not address him as Mr. President,  but as Mr. Kirkman, just all kinds of rudeness. This man is a good and honest family man, trying to do what’s right by the people and for the people, but no one wanted to work with him. Every which way he turned he hit a brick wall. Eventually, he gained the respect and trust of a few aids. Not sure how this story will unfold. But this is just for TV.

Mr. Trump wasn’t a designated survivor, and this is no TV series. He didn’t have the background that many sought in a President-elect. I suspect that the people were seeking something different, someone, that would be for the people, for our country. You get so tired of hearing all the political speeches, the promises for our nation, blah blah blah…presidential choices were slim to none, but the people voted.

I see and hear these words “He’s Not My President” so often about the situation with our new president, President Donald Trump.  

Donald Trump!  People have got all upset depressed, ranting and raving about this man because of what they see of him on television or what they have heard about him in the media.  I do not know Trump.  I do know his words and tweets have a tendency to get a lot of people upset.  One reason why I don’t read his tweets or listen to his speeches.  I believe what he does and what he says are for one purpose – to rattle everyone’s cage.  They should ban him from all social media.

This congressional party unlike no other that I have saw, is a joke, a real circus act Among the Powerful. A bunch of clowns, jumping through hoops and juggling etc…

But I cannot, and will not, let this person get me upset; there is not a damn thing I can do about what he says or does as our new president EXCEPT pray for the best.  I understand he may not have been who we wanted in the white house, but what’s done is done.  Let’s move on, make the best of it and just focus our energies on those things which are within our control.  Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time.

But let me be clear, I may not like President Trump, and I can’t say that I don’t like the man,  don’t know him, but if he asked me to come work for him in the White House, Hell Yeah I would jump at the opportunity. Would look at as a once in a lifetime opportunity that may give me the opportunity to get to know the person within the President.   Honestly, I’ve never known of or heard of any past or present President until they became the President of the United States. Outside of that, I  wouldn’t be able to distinguish him from a can of paint.  It seems that they have just said the things they feel the American people want to hear to get votes.  We don’t know who will keep their word and do what is necessary to make the country a better place.

It’s almost the same as meeting someone new and getting into a relationship; we honestly do not know this person.  I had never heard of President Obama until he ran for office, but I had known about President Trump from his TV show “The Apprentice” and his hotels, but still I did not know this man. I don’t believe he is a political person, nor has he ever been a member of the armed forces but he is a business man with plenty of nothing to say. I don’t watch politics, and I try not to listen to it either. Not a fan.

It’s like starting a new job; they make it sound so wonderful that you can’t resist the offer and so you accept the employment.  Later you realize the job is nothing like they described it and not only do you not like the job, you find out you don’t like the manager either.  Now you’re at a job that you don’t like, working for someone you like even less, but you have to continue going to work because you need the income to survive, until you can find another job that you HOPE is better.  But you deal with it the best you can, especially when no one is there to offer financial help or pay your bills.

I said that to say this, it is the same viewpoint we should have for our current President.  We have to deal with the hand that’s  given to us; he is our President (for now).  Thank God for term limits in this case.  May not like him, or what he does, or what he says, but remember he is only a man.  He is not God, and he is not a god.  Only God has the power to change things and people and situations, so we should pray for our new President as we prayed for our old President and Kept It Moving.

Not saying we give him a chance; some may end up liking him or not, but he were elected. Or, we can just let this Presidency run it’s course and see how it all unfolds. You know those sayings, what goes on in the dark, will eventually come out in the light. Give em enough rope and they will hang themselves.

It is good and bad in all of us; he is just another one. It’s hard to believe anyone in politics. It’s not always WYSIWYG there are plenty out here in sheep’s clothing. We cannot let one bad apple spoil it for everyone although sometimes there are more than one.  Everyone can’t handle being in authority, but every person new to a job should be given a full and fair chance to either shine or to fall flat on their ass.  But, we the people, have to hold these elected officials accountable to do what is right for the majority.  Being president of the United States comes with a lot of power.  The power to do great things, but on the other hand, the power to destroy great things.

Just as Diddy stated, not everyone can handle power which could lead to a lot Bitchassness going on.  But I’m paraphrasing.

In conclusion, I try hard to take life one day at a time and pray for the best outcome. I cannot and will not sit around worrying about what our president is or is not doing – that is out of my control.  I don’t claim to like political stuff and have never really understood politics.  In my humble opinion government has a tendency to look out for the government which is why we should look out for one another.  I just pray that the majority of governmental decisions are made for the people and not for the government. Stayed prayed up, it’s all we have.

A nation as great as ours has to have a strong government to ensure our high standards are, and continue to be upheld.  There is so much going on around us in the world today; it is as if the bible’s predictions of the end are starting to come true.  Everywhere you turn, there’s crime, senseless killings, homelessness, and poverty. But, my question to each of you is so how do we fix it?

He is your President!

I’ve always pondered this question, is the president actually for the people or themselves?

Again, there are just my feelings and opinions. Be nice; I know some of you will want to lash out.

Freedom of speech is AWESOME!

Share your thoughts and comments.