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FAMILY TIES!!!!!

THE TIES THAT BIND US

Someone help me understand:

Scenario one:

How can anyone have a child and not do anything and everything within their means to take care of that child, support that child, provide for that child? It is our responsibility as a parent to do all those things for our children and more if needed, it’s no one else’s responsibility. There are at times when certain circumstances beyond one’s control when you are just not able to provide for your child or even have a child in your care. This is the only time when you should have to decide what is in the best interest of the child, to let someone else take care of the child, raise them on your behalf.

We can’t keep coming up with excuses as to why we cannot or just will not do our jobs as parents. It’s not the child’s fault that they are here, it is ours. We cannot always meet our parenting goals but the key is trying to do all that you can, at least you know and your child knows that you tried, you gave it your best and that’s what matters.

As a daughter, and a parent myself, I have not been the perfect parent and there are times when I know that I should have tried harder or done better, but I have always tried to give and do what’s best for my children. How could I not? I wanted them cared for but most of all safe and happy. I always wish that I could do more for my children no matter how old they may get, I still want to help them. I would give my last to help them because when they hurt I hurt and when I cannot it saddens me.

So, tell me how can anyone have a child and not want to provide for them, know them, be a part of their lives, watch them as they grow, this is a part of you, your blood and you should do all that you can to stay involved in their life. How can you have a child and not be there, how can you put it out of sight out of mind and go on with your life as if that child didn’t exist? Help me to understand this.

Scenario two:  

Myself raised as an only child, never knew what it was like to have arguments or disagreements with a sibling. I need someone to explain to me why siblings argue and stop speaking with another. Why can’t siblings agree to disagree and move on? Why can’t they just squash the pettiness, discuss their issues with the other and move on with life? Why stop speaking to one another for days weeks months at a time when the issue could be resolved and you continue to interact and enjoy life with one another as siblings should?

There are always three sides to every story, your side, their side and the truth. Of course, no one will ever think they are wrong, each will believe they are right but after a while what does it matter, apologize be the bigger person talk to one another clear the air and make it right. You were raised (some) in the same household, (some) with the same parent/parents,  it’s not like you were in two different environments. You have spent plenty of time together, you shared a room and you love one another.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGEpC8k2jEw

Life is too short to abandon one another and god forbid that something happened to either of you before you made things right again, you will regret it for the rest of your life that you didn’t get the chance to make amends. And, this is not just for siblings but anyone you care about and love, mother, grandparent, etc…

There are those that you just don’t give a damn about that don’t count in your life. So, if you fall out with that person it doesn’t really matter if you ever speak to them again. But for those that you care about it should mean MORE to make things right.  I am just saying and it’s just my opinion but I need someone to explain how siblings should interact with one another? These are crazy times we live in, let’s not make it worst or more stressful.

This maybe one of my last posts before putting away the pen. I will keep you updated on the latest books to be published end of year beginning of next year.

Let’s keep the flood victims in our prayers.

Until next time, be good to one another, love one another.

 

 

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Hoy en mi vida!

For those of you who are not subscribed to my newsletter, this is what you missed.

It’s been a while since I last talked to you. After all the obstacles that have come in my path, I have not given up. My series of short stories are coming along very well, and I am sticking to it. Also, have a novel that I am working on, should be completed with all books by the end of the year.  Will not publish any of them right away. My goal is to publish with a traditional publisher,  so this may take a while. If it doesn’t happen within six months after books are completed, I will go the self-publishing route.

I would like to have at least one book published professionally.

Writing and having a creative mind is lots of work, effort, time and patience. I have set myself a daily writing goal of 1600 words if possible but no less than 500 words.

It’s either getting up an hour early before work to write or soon as I arrive home from work. Trust me 3:30 A.M. is best, my brain is fresh and ready to go. Sometimes, I may miss a day of writing, so I make it up the next time. But, must stick with it, to meet my goals.

Movies, Television and Reading Etc.

So, as you all know, I am a big movie and T.V. buff.
GAME OF THRONES is back, Winter is Here, very excited about this, it has been a long wait. Ghost is out of Jail, but Charlie is dead, head bashed the F**K in with a dumbell!  R.I.P.Charlie Murphy.

For all you Netflix fans, Chewing Gum(this is so funny stupid), Bloodline, Wentworth (awww that big bitch the Governor has nine lives) , Friends From College to name a few are outstanding features.
Amazon Prime still has me hooked almost more than Netflix. If you have Prime, check out these shows (Sneaky Pete, Mad Dog, Trapped, Transparent). You will get hooked.
HBO take a watch at Ballers, Big Little Lies (excellent novel turned series by author Liane Moriarty), Insecure featuring Issa Rae (Hilarious)

Have not been to the big screen much since I have the Firestick. Last week went to see Wonder Woman, wasn’t impressed, it was fair. My take on it was that it did not have enough action and this new Wonder Woman was not sexy enough in the outfit, nothing like Linda Carter.

Just my Siskel and Ebert opinion.  

Okay, moving on, enough about movies and TV because I have just too many to list.

Reached my book reading goal for this year early, I lowered the bar to a goal of 15 books unlike last year 50, and I read 51.
Now, I can just take my time and read when time allows around my schedule. Reading short stories, fantasy, sci-fi, YA and fiction novels.
Just reading it all, variety is good. It helps me as an author to brush up on my writing and creative skills.

Have not vacationed at all this year thus far and it has been difficult, just working every day and writing. Normally I would have taken one trip by now, but this August we do have a beach vacation planned. Can’t wait for that break and much-needed relaxation and fun. Feel that Ocean breeze, the sand between my toes and that awful hot sun burning down on my skin. It’s all worth it!

I forgot to mention that I had a new grand baby her name is Ella. Isn’t she lovely!  And she thick.

Also, we have my grand-dog HoneyBun(HB). She THOT trainging. Lol

 

Food for thought, something to think about:

Remember no one is perfect, not even those higher up. Choose your idols wisely or better yet, idolize no one. Those at the top can quickly fall back down to the bottom. Worship no man, woman or child, but GOD.

Sometimes you may cross paths with another and think this person is smart, intelligent and got their shit together and this may be true, and on the other side, can just be an outward appearance.  Just because someone may have more than you, don’t ever make them better that you.

All of us, everyone has flaws, faults, and weakness, so let no one make you feel that they are superior to you. Build your own self-esteem and motivation. Sure, there may be certain things you can learn from another, but don’t let it or that person be something or someone you cling to for growth. Be you, Do you. You have an individual quality within you that make you who you are, that makes you unique.

Until next time, take care.

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WHAT WORRY MAY DO TO YOU

Hey, all! It’s been some time since we last chatted, but I hope all is well with everyone. This blog will be a bit lengthy, so please bear with me.

What worrying too much can do to you?

How many of us are worriers? How many are not aware you are a worrier?

For a long time, I was a worrier even to the point that it affected my health in ways such as constant stomach problems, always feeling nauseated, facial breakouts, weight loss, and hair loss. This all started when I became a victim of abuse and domestic violence.  I suspect it was the fear and not knowing what’s to come next. How do I protect myself, my children, finances?  How do I continue to work, maintain some shelter, and ensure my survival? This was only the beginning of my worrying, and it just progressed over the years as the situations worsened.

Finally, after a visit to my doctor who explained that my hair loss, and everything else that was going on with me, was due to the stress and anxiety.  The doctor advised speaking with a counselor, someone who was non-judgmental and unfamiliar to me. My doctor told me that I was an “inner” worrier which was not good and would continue to jeopardize my health.  After a few counseling sessions, I realized that this was the best thing that I could ever have done for myself. Trust me when I say, you do NOT want to hold on to past negative experiences.  It will eat you alive and tear away at your being.  You do your best try to protect those close to you but what about protecting yourself? Anyhow, after counseling I began to worry less and was able to focus more on family and living. I have been trying to get this meditation thing down, breathing exercise and praying more to keep those nasty boogers called stress and worry out of my life.  And I have to say, it feels good to feel good.

As I got better, my hair grew back, I was able to maintain, my stomach problems went away and my face cleared up.  Some people may think speaking with counselor/psychotherapist means you must have been crazy or something, but you don’t and you’re not.  It is not a sign of weakness but strength. Sometimes you just need to talk, get “it” off your chest, open up about things kept quiet.  It would surprise you how much better you’ll feel.  There’s something enlightening about unloading all the suppressed anger, the sadness, the hurt or whatever your non-physical issues may be.

Many years have gone by since I was in a bad place, but I am definitely in a better place, feeling better about myself and not worrying as much, so I think.

Sometimes I believe that I am no longer a worrier because I stay pretty much happy these days and try to avoid all the drama that surrounds me barring the drama I watch on television. But, there are also times when I believe that worry is still lying just beneath the surface when fighting off to stress from family issues, relationship issues (feeling caught in the middle or being pulled from each end) or just concerns of the heart. Heartbreaking at times.

Other things that worry me from time to time is my writing – will I get my stories completed, will it read good, will I get my books edited and published.  Writing can get financially exhausting when you’re going at it alone. The difference between some self-publishing authors and celebrities is that when a star decides to write a book or are approached to write a book, literary agents and publishing companies seek them out and give them all the necessary people and tools to make it happen. I won’t let this stop me, and I will continue writing and trying to perfect my skill until I get tired of writing and throw in the towel, wave the white flag or scream uncle. In the meantime, everything is everything and I am hopeful that all else will fall into place.   I ask the question. How does one just turn off the worry button?

Another source of discontentment is that I have two other grandchildren that I don’t get to see, not by choice, and they are growing up without me.  This, as well as, family issues, family division, stressful work environment and other nonsense that is out of my control also try to contribute.  But I actively look for different ways to manage.  For the more personal things, I try to separate myself from the issues, but at the same time, I try not to come across as uncaring although it may seem that way to some.  As much as I know how worrying jeopardizes my health mentally, emotionally and physically, this is something I prefer not to go through anymore.  I was recently diagnosed with other health issues to include osteoarthritis and hyperthyroidism.  Both of them just suddenly popped up out of nowhere when I previously had no symptoms or signs.  But, as much as I dislike the idea of having these condition, it is good that they are under control now and I am coping with them.

I have realized, and I hope that everyone can understand, I cannot solve everyone’s problems.  I can only help where possible and give my opinion when asked.  Everyone is responsible for their own lives.  It’s hard enough keeping up with everything going on my own life, let alone trying to direct someone else’s life.  This additional stress and worry are not worth the price of my health.  I have to take care of me which means I must relax, release and remain happy.  Once I am happy, then I can share happiness.  But the opposite is true also.

I don’t know what you may worry about, but if you find yourself worrying to the point that it’s taking a toll on your life, your relationships, or even worse, your health, you owe it to yourself stop the insanity and try to find a solution that works for you to reduce your worrying.  Otherwise, it will be your health that is impacted when the issue was not yours, to begin with.  We have to make a change before it affects our health or, even worse, sends us to an early grave.  Somethings we can impact.  Something we can’t impact.  In measured doses, we should limit our concerns and worries to the things we can impact.  And furthermore, we must avoid making the small issue into extra-large issues if/when it’s not necessary and doesn’t move us closer to a good place.

I started reading “How To Stop Worrying and Start Living” By Dale Carnegie for the second time because sometimes you need just that little extra help or push.

Let me just give you a few paragraphs, paraphrasing, and quotes from the book that has given me food for thought.

Professor William James, the father of applied psychology had a formula for stress, and that same idea was expressed by Lin Yutang, a Chinese philosopher who said, “True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst.”

Rule 2, according to Willis H. Carrier, is if you have a worrying problem, you can address them by applying this magic formula found in doing these three things:

  1. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
  2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
  3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

Dr. O. F. Gober states, “Fear causes worry. Worry makes you tense and nervous and affects the nerves of your stomach and actually changes the gastric juices of your stomach from normal to abnormal and often leads to stomach ulcers.”

Dr. Joseph F. Montague says, “You do net get stomach ulcers from what you eat . You get stomach ulcers from what is eating you.”

Dr. Harold C. Habein of the Mayo Clinic says: Can any man possibly be a success who is paying for business advancement with stomach ulcers and heart trouble? What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world-and loses his health? Even if he owned the whole world, he could sleep only in one bed at a time and only eat three meals a day. Even a new employee can do that-and probably sleep more soundly and enjoy his food more than a high-powered executive. Frankly, I would rather be a carefree person with no responsibility than wreck my health at forty-five by trying to run a company.

Mayo brothers said, “nervous troubles” are caused by emotions of futility, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, defeat, despair.

Plato stated that “the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately!

Worry can put you into a wheelchair with rheumatism and arthritis says Dr. Russell L. Cecil a world recognized authority on arthritis. There are four commonest conditions that bring on arthritis:

  1. Marital shipwreck
  2. Financial disaster and grief
  3. Loneliness and worry
  4. Long-cherished resentments

Worry can cause tooth decay, Dr. Wiiliam I. L. McGonigle ADA that, “unpleasant emotions such as those caused by worry, fear, nagging…may upset the body’s calcium balance and cause tooth decay. It can also cause acute overactive thyroid problems. The thyroid gland, that gland that regulates the body, has been thrown out of kilter. It speeds up the heart-the whole body is roaring away at full blast; like a furnace with all of its drafts wide open. And if this isn’t checked, by operation or treatment, the victim, may die, may “burn himself out.”

Who would have known such a thing about tooth decay? Not me.

Dr. Israel Bram said to ask yourself, “What emotional disturbance brought on this condition?” if you don’t stop worrying, you can bring on other complications: heart trouble, stomach ulcers, or diabetes. “All these disease, “are cousins, first cousins.”

Do you love life? Do you want to live long and enjoy good health? Here is how you can do it. “Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of the modern city are immune from nervous disease.” According to Dr. Alexis Carrel

Dr. Carrell also said, “He does believe that a cheerful mental attitude helps the body fight disease, thanks to these challenging, fighting words:  Face the facts: Quit worrying; then do something about it!’”

“Those who do not know how to fight worry die young” -Dr. Alexis Carrel

Can you do this? Can you keep the peace of your inner self in the midst of the tumult of a modern city? The answer is “yes.” Most of us are stronger than we realize.

Of course, I could go on but, you will just have to read the book for yourself.

What I am writing:

I am currently writing a few short stories, no release dates now but coming soon.

What I am watching:

“13 R3asons Why” (Netflix) everyone should watch, parents, teachers, teens and counselors

“The Handmaids Tale” (Netflix)

“Harlot” (Hulu)

My Favorite Regular Series: Rebel, The Blacklist, Blacklist Redemption, Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, Fargo, Designated Survivor, Rogue, Blackish, Modern Family, Empire, PTL, Better Call Saul, Jane The Virgin, Gotham, Into The Badlands, Reign, Quantico, Outsiders, Underground, Greenleaf and caught up on season one of Imposters (remember I am open to all genres of movies)

My 2017 Reading Challenge on Goodreads:

I am reading book 13 out of my 2017 reading goal, 15. Last year my goal was 50 books and I read 51. This year I set the bar lower,  because I am a very busy woman, although I am sure I will surpass my goals.

On Another Note:

We shouldn’t worry about tomorrow or what it will bring and just make the most of today.  We should, however, give some attention to saving for our retirement years.  And if you are not investing in your future, it’s not too late to start today.   You can start putting aside $5, 10, 20, 25.00 per week, per month whatever you can afford.   You can even consider investing in a 401k, certificate of deposit (CD),  savings account, or stocks/bond.  If all else fails, but only as a last resort, put some funds away in a piggy bank, shoe box, hole in the wall, or bury it in your yard.  Just kidding on those last suggestions.  But the point is, start saving officially somewhere.  Once you make the commitment, you won’t even think about it and once one that’s out of site out of mind and build your nest egg. If you don’t, who will?

I hope you don’t plan to work your entire life, and I am sure that you wouldn’t want to.  At some point, you will want to stop working and start doing something you like – like seeing the world, starting a new business, spending more time with the grandkids, pursue a new hobby, remodel your home, drive a nice car, etc.  It’s up to you to make this sacrifice for you.  Truth be told, you can’t depend on another to take care of you when you get old – nothing is guaranteed.  Just something to think about and look into, don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.

You want to feel and look like this –

 

not like this – 

 

Until next time, peace, love, respect, and unity

“It’s Funny How People Need You Until They Don’t”

What Have I Been Up To!

2016-09-17-09-42-34What I’ve Been Up To!

by Petite Breaux 

 

 

 

Last movie I saw on the big screen.

My mother is in town from Kansas City Mo visiting for a while.

Last weekend we went to see the movie “The Accountant” with Ben Affleck. download-2I give it a 7, something was missing from the movie. It had action and drama but some parts seemed to drag. Overall, I would say hmm, I liked it. I liked the concept of

 

 

 

The Holidays are upon us.

Halloween night tried to decorate outside of the home a little, getting in the spirit of it all. Last minute decision to put makeup on my face and dress all in black while I sit outside with a pumpkin full of candy as I wait for my little trick or treaters.

Makeup didn’t turn out as expected, maybe next year I will try again.

What I am watching on Netflix.

I started watching a Netflix show “Z NATION” the apocalypse, it’s corny but I can’t stop watching.

Citizen Z has alerted everyone to a bounty for safely getting The Murphy to California, which he was lying just so that Murphy would no be killed, but this has caused all sorts of chaos. Everyone is now out to kill one another for this so-called bounty money.

Everything is zombies and walking dead. The guy called DJ Qualls (Citizen Z), he has played in mv5bnzg0nte4njmwn15bml5banbnxkftztgwoty3ntc2nje-_v1-_sx93_sy140_several other movies, but I remember him from Hustle and Flow. Did he get his cheeks lifted or Botox or something? I read about him being a cancer survivor, pray he continues to stay in good health and continues with his acting career. He is funny.

 

Update on Children’s book.

Children’s book as I have stated before has been completed, but there is one issue of finding someone to do illustrations. I just want stencil illustrations in black and white, one illustration per chapter. Once I get this taken care of, I can send the manuscript for publishing through Createspace. Hopefully, this task can be completed within the next three weeks.

What I’m writing.

Absolutely nothing! I need to be writing my next short stories.

I am getting back into my schedule of writing, I had taken a break and it’s hard getting back in the saddle. Between work, exercise, Rosetta Stone and all other minor things that come up, it’s hard to sit down and write. No more excuses, if I plan to get these stories completed, I must write even if it’s only fifteen minutes per day.

Will be updating you again soon, until then, keep smiling.

Oh! One more thing before I go.

2016-11-23-06-00-03No matter where you are, I pray that you have a safe and loving holiday. Safe travels to all,  arrive unharmed to your destination. Enjoy your time spent with family and friends. Love, peace, respect and happiness.

 

 

Before you go:

Books available for purchase.

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smarshwords

barnes-and-nobles

kobo

amazon

goodread

bookdaily