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WHAT WORRY MAY DO TO YOU

Hey, all! It’s been some time since we last chatted, but I hope all is well with everyone. This blog will be a bit lengthy, so please bear with me.

What worrying too much can do to you?

How many of us are worriers? How many are not aware you are a worrier?

For a long time, I was a worrier even to the point that it affected my health in ways such as constant stomach problems, always feeling nauseated, facial breakouts, weight loss, and hair loss. This all started when I became a victim of abuse and domestic violence.  I suspect it was the fear and not knowing what’s to come next. How do I protect myself, my children, finances?  How do I continue to work, maintain some shelter, and ensure my survival? This was only the beginning of my worrying, and it just progressed over the years as the situations worsened.

Finally, after a visit to my doctor who explained that my hair loss, and everything else that was going on with me, was due to the stress and anxiety.  The doctor advised speaking with a counselor, someone who was non-judgmental and unfamiliar to me. My doctor told me that I was an “inner” worrier which was not good and would continue to jeopardize my health.  After a few counseling sessions, I realized that this was the best thing that I could ever have done for myself. Trust me when I say, you do NOT want to hold on to past negative experiences.  It will eat you alive and tear away at your being.  You do your best try to protect those close to you but what about protecting yourself? Anyhow, after counseling I began to worry less and was able to focus more on family and living. I have been trying to get this meditation thing down, breathing exercise and praying more to keep those nasty boogers called stress and worry out of my life.  And I have to say, it feels good to feel good.

As I got better, my hair grew back, I was able to maintain, my stomach problems went away and my face cleared up.  Some people may think speaking with counselor/psychotherapist means you must have been crazy or something, but you don’t and you’re not.  It is not a sign of weakness but strength. Sometimes you just need to talk, get “it” off your chest, open up about things kept quiet.  It would surprise you how much better you’ll feel.  There’s something enlightening about unloading all the suppressed anger, the sadness, the hurt or whatever your non-physical issues may be.

Many years have gone by since I was in a bad place, but I am definitely in a better place, feeling better about myself and not worrying as much, so I think.

Sometimes I believe that I am no longer a worrier because I stay pretty much happy these days and try to avoid all the drama that surrounds me barring the drama I watch on television. But, there are also times when I believe that worry is still lying just beneath the surface when fighting off to stress from family issues, relationship issues (feeling caught in the middle or being pulled from each end) or just concerns of the heart. Heartbreaking at times.

Other things that worry me from time to time is my writing – will I get my stories completed, will it read good, will I get my books edited and published.  Writing can get financially exhausting when you’re going at it alone. The difference between some self-publishing authors and celebrities is that when a star decides to write a book or are approached to write a book, literary agents and publishing companies seek them out and give them all the necessary people and tools to make it happen. I won’t let this stop me, and I will continue writing and trying to perfect my skill until I get tired of writing and throw in the towel, wave the white flag or scream uncle. In the meantime, everything is everything and I am hopeful that all else will fall into place.   I ask the question. How does one just turn off the worry button?

Another source of discontentment is that I have two other grandchildren that I don’t get to see, not by choice, and they are growing up without me.  This, as well as, family issues, family division, stressful work environment and other nonsense that is out of my control also try to contribute.  But I actively look for different ways to manage.  For the more personal things, I try to separate myself from the issues, but at the same time, I try not to come across as uncaring although it may seem that way to some.  As much as I know how worrying jeopardizes my health mentally, emotionally and physically, this is something I prefer not to go through anymore.  I was recently diagnosed with other health issues to include osteoarthritis and hyperthyroidism.  Both of them just suddenly popped up out of nowhere when I previously had no symptoms or signs.  But, as much as I dislike the idea of having these condition, it is good that they are under control now and I am coping with them.

I have realized, and I hope that everyone can understand, I cannot solve everyone’s problems.  I can only help where possible and give my opinion when asked.  Everyone is responsible for their own lives.  It’s hard enough keeping up with everything going on my own life, let alone trying to direct someone else’s life.  This additional stress and worry are not worth the price of my health.  I have to take care of me which means I must relax, release and remain happy.  Once I am happy, then I can share happiness.  But the opposite is true also.

I don’t know what you may worry about, but if you find yourself worrying to the point that it’s taking a toll on your life, your relationships, or even worse, your health, you owe it to yourself stop the insanity and try to find a solution that works for you to reduce your worrying.  Otherwise, it will be your health that is impacted when the issue was not yours, to begin with.  We have to make a change before it affects our health or, even worse, sends us to an early grave.  Somethings we can impact.  Something we can’t impact.  In measured doses, we should limit our concerns and worries to the things we can impact.  And furthermore, we must avoid making the small issue into extra-large issues if/when it’s not necessary and doesn’t move us closer to a good place.

I started reading “How To Stop Worrying and Start Living” By Dale Carnegie for the second time because sometimes you need just that little extra help or push.

Let me just give you a few paragraphs, paraphrasing, and quotes from the book that has given me food for thought.

Professor William James, the father of applied psychology had a formula for stress, and that same idea was expressed by Lin Yutang, a Chinese philosopher who said, “True peace of mind comes from accepting the worst.”

Rule 2, according to Willis H. Carrier, is if you have a worrying problem, you can address them by applying this magic formula found in doing these three things:

  1. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
  2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
  3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

Dr. O. F. Gober states, “Fear causes worry. Worry makes you tense and nervous and affects the nerves of your stomach and actually changes the gastric juices of your stomach from normal to abnormal and often leads to stomach ulcers.”

Dr. Joseph F. Montague says, “You do net get stomach ulcers from what you eat . You get stomach ulcers from what is eating you.”

Dr. Harold C. Habein of the Mayo Clinic says: Can any man possibly be a success who is paying for business advancement with stomach ulcers and heart trouble? What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world-and loses his health? Even if he owned the whole world, he could sleep only in one bed at a time and only eat three meals a day. Even a new employee can do that-and probably sleep more soundly and enjoy his food more than a high-powered executive. Frankly, I would rather be a carefree person with no responsibility than wreck my health at forty-five by trying to run a company.

Mayo brothers said, “nervous troubles” are caused by emotions of futility, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, defeat, despair.

Plato stated that “the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately!

Worry can put you into a wheelchair with rheumatism and arthritis says Dr. Russell L. Cecil a world recognized authority on arthritis. There are four commonest conditions that bring on arthritis:

  1. Marital shipwreck
  2. Financial disaster and grief
  3. Loneliness and worry
  4. Long-cherished resentments

Worry can cause tooth decay, Dr. Wiiliam I. L. McGonigle ADA that, “unpleasant emotions such as those caused by worry, fear, nagging…may upset the body’s calcium balance and cause tooth decay. It can also cause acute overactive thyroid problems. The thyroid gland, that gland that regulates the body, has been thrown out of kilter. It speeds up the heart-the whole body is roaring away at full blast; like a furnace with all of its drafts wide open. And if this isn’t checked, by operation or treatment, the victim, may die, may “burn himself out.”

Who would have known such a thing about tooth decay? Not me.

Dr. Israel Bram said to ask yourself, “What emotional disturbance brought on this condition?” if you don’t stop worrying, you can bring on other complications: heart trouble, stomach ulcers, or diabetes. “All these disease, “are cousins, first cousins.”

Do you love life? Do you want to live long and enjoy good health? Here is how you can do it. “Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of the modern city are immune from nervous disease.” According to Dr. Alexis Carrel

Dr. Carrell also said, “He does believe that a cheerful mental attitude helps the body fight disease, thanks to these challenging, fighting words:  Face the facts: Quit worrying; then do something about it!’”

“Those who do not know how to fight worry die young” -Dr. Alexis Carrel

Can you do this? Can you keep the peace of your inner self in the midst of the tumult of a modern city? The answer is “yes.” Most of us are stronger than we realize.

Of course, I could go on but, you will just have to read the book for yourself.

What I am writing:

I am currently writing a few short stories, no release dates now but coming soon.

What I am watching:

“13 R3asons Why” (Netflix) everyone should watch, parents, teachers, teens and counselors

“The Handmaids Tale” (Netflix)

“Harlot” (Hulu)

My Favorite Regular Series: Rebel, The Blacklist, Blacklist Redemption, Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, Fargo, Designated Survivor, Rogue, Blackish, Modern Family, Empire, PTL, Better Call Saul, Jane The Virgin, Gotham, Into The Badlands, Reign, Quantico, Outsiders, Underground, Greenleaf and caught up on season one of Imposters (remember I am open to all genres of movies)

My 2017 Reading Challenge on Goodreads:

I am reading book 13 out of my 2017 reading goal, 15. Last year my goal was 50 books and I read 51. This year I set the bar lower,  because I am a very busy woman, although I am sure I will surpass my goals.

On Another Note:

We shouldn’t worry about tomorrow or what it will bring and just make the most of today.  We should, however, give some attention to saving for our retirement years.  And if you are not investing in your future, it’s not too late to start today.   You can start putting aside $5, 10, 20, 25.00 per week, per month whatever you can afford.   You can even consider investing in a 401k, certificate of deposit (CD),  savings account, or stocks/bond.  If all else fails, but only as a last resort, put some funds away in a piggy bank, shoe box, hole in the wall, or bury it in your yard.  Just kidding on those last suggestions.  But the point is, start saving officially somewhere.  Once you make the commitment, you won’t even think about it and once one that’s out of site out of mind and build your nest egg. If you don’t, who will?

I hope you don’t plan to work your entire life, and I am sure that you wouldn’t want to.  At some point, you will want to stop working and start doing something you like – like seeing the world, starting a new business, spending more time with the grandkids, pursue a new hobby, remodel your home, drive a nice car, etc.  It’s up to you to make this sacrifice for you.  Truth be told, you can’t depend on another to take care of you when you get old – nothing is guaranteed.  Just something to think about and look into, don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.

You want to feel and look like this –

 

not like this – 

 

Until next time, peace, love, respect, and unity

“It’s Funny How People Need You Until They Don’t”

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“NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER”

HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU ALL. 2017 IS HERE, AND 2016 IS IN OUR REARVIEW. LET’S MAKE FRESH STARTS WITH CONFIDENT ATTITUDES.

WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME SINCE LAST YEAR.

I have finally completed my grandkids middle-grade book. The cover and interior look great. I am putting a fresh face on my first book Slightly Bruised and a Little Broken. I am currently still writing my short stories. Trying to sit down and write as much as possible, so that I can achieve better writing skills. Practice, practice, practice.

WHAT I’M READING

The goal this year is to read 15 books. Last year was 50, and I achieved that goal by reading 51 books. This year, I need to do more writing.

Reading Book 2 of Fritz Fombie and the Frightful Feats of Courage, by T .E. Antonino middle-grade level but cute for all.  I enjoy reading his books about this eight-year-old girl Fannie and her friends.

Read several books by Travis Simmons; he writes fantasy novels. Well told stories and he does a really great job with his writing.

I receive most of my books free from the authors in exchange for a book review. They are available on Librarything.com, and I enter giveaways on Goodreads.com. I don’t accept the books if I have no intention of reading or giving a review. Reviews are most important to authors especially those new authors such as myself; it’s one way to get our books recognized and get us known as authors.

I never know if I will like a book or not, but no matter what,  I will read any book to the end and give a review. Some books may have slow starts just as some movies but gets better as you continue. Then there are some that just don’t interest you at all and you quit reading. That’s not me.

Check out LibraryThing if you are a reader, request a copy, read it and review it. In order to leave a review on Amazon you must have an account.

WHAT I’M WATCHING???

This is the good part. I was gifted Amazon Prime for Christmas from someone I adore very much. I had previously purchased the Amazon Fire Stick. It’s like having the best time ever double dosed. I am happy feet dancing and soul clapping.

However, this has caused me to miss watching my regular television shows, and Netflix is now on the back burner but not forgotten. So, not as much Netflix and chilling going on here but rather much priming.

On Amazon Prime:

I watched the series Goliath with Billy Bob Thornton – a big time lawyer turned into a drunken washed up lawyer but still sharp as a whistle. Two thumbs up and five stars. One of my favorite actors.

Sneaky Pete, I won’t go into description, you just have to watch – lots of twist and turns. A must see. Two thumbs up and five stars.

Mad Dogs, excited to be getting away on vacation all expenses paid, visit a friend you haven’t seen in a long while expecting to have this awesome time. Well, think again and expect the unexpected. Every time you take one step forward, you get pushed back two more. What in the hell is happening?

Watch this movie; it has some funny, much drama and questionable friendships. Two thumbs up and five stars.

On Hulu:

Catching up on season one of Outsiders. No review yet, just on episode four and so far all I know is that its trouble in the mountains.

On T.V.

I watched the New Edition Story. Much I wasn’t aware of, things that the public never knows, that goes on behind the scenes of celebrities. This group of young men went through much heartache, pain, betrayal, trust issues, friendship, and loyalty. Finding out who was actually working for you or aginst you. Another prime example of how you treat people.  Although Bobby Brown put them through hell, in the end after all those years, they remain the best of friends. I think part of it had to do with their backgrounds, where they came from and being man enough to come and say I’m sorry. My best part was the end when they were on stage at the BET show. They were having a good time and for all the actors new and old who played the parts of new edition did an excellent job. Kudos to them. One of BET’s best shows and characters were well. Well done.

My Thursday night shows have returned, the Shonda Rhime trio. Greys Anatomy, Scandal, and HTGAWM. Have to catch up on that. Black Sails is back. Quantico is back. The Blacklist is back. Jane the Virgin is back. Tyler Perry shows are back. The Affair is back. Sleepy Hollow is back. Homeland is back, Carrie with her crazy ass. Uughhh so many shows so little time.

Haven’t been to the movie theater lately, but I do plan on seeing Hidden Figures and Fences. Who knows, may just have to watch it on Fire Stick Kodi. Why not?

Cable prices are high as F**K! this way I could lower my bill by half getting rid of some cable boxes and dropping to basic package plan. One day will remove cable completly but until then still figuring out this Fire Stick before making that final move.

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

Judging someone or something before you actually know facts can sometimes be mean and hurtful. I have been thingk about Karma latley. That bitch Karma the what goes around comes around KARMA. You know her, right? Bottom line we don’t need to be judging anyone when our home isn’t in order. Over the years as I have gotten older, I have realized some things about life and Karma. Karma isn’t something you want to come back on you, so, be mindful how you treat others and how you talk to them. Try to make the motives behind your intentions from the heart. Let’s build each other up instead of tearing one another down. This is not just words but something I will put into practice.  Let’s move forward, 2016 is behind us and 2017 is here.

Ain’t no stopping us now, were on the move.

Until next time, peace love and respect.

Petite

 

 

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#Tune In Tuesday

Lots going on theses days. Let’s get to the updates.

Last movie I saw. 

My daughter and I went to see “Badder Santa”, was not what I expected. The first Bad Santa was hilarious but this second edition gave a few chuckles. As I have always stated some movies are just not meant to be remade or have several parts.  I give it four **** because of Thurman Murman has gotten older and has not changed a lick but still making sandwiches.

What I’ve been watching on Netflix.

Watching The Crown another King Henry and Queen Elizabeth era. No reviews on it just yet just started watching.

Watched “Paranoid,” it was pretty good another British detective mystery story. I enjoy the British movies, cannot wait for Luther to return.

The first time I have watched a Korean film. I must say that I truly, truly enjoyed watching, Descendants of the Sun. This movie is a must watch, such a complete love story. So much determination, trust, respect and honor. I fell in love with the star cast Joong-ki song, this guy here was on point and on time. Joon-ki song was such a loving, caring and protective person. The other main character Goo-seo Jin plays Joog-ki’s best friend, they are both military special forces. At first, you wouldn’t understand his actions, but it all comes together as both romances unfold. After this movie, I have decided to watch other Korean Netflix movies. The storyline was clean, no sexual content or language. I give it a 10. Must watch! It does have subtitles, so you need to be able to watch and pay attention. Very romantic.

Now, what’s going on with my writing and books?

Started back writing my short stories, had stopped for a long while now. I am a little upset and disappointed at my children’s book illustrator. He does good work, but it has been almost a month now, and his timeframe was supposed to be two weeks. I would hate to cancel this gig with him because I lose money on the fees that were paid and starting over would push my time back even further. I have several times explained this to the illustrator. My goal was to have the children’s book published by Christmas. Not happening. If I don’t hear from the illustrator by tomorrow, I will bite the bullet and cancel and go with another illustrator and pray I won’t go through the same thing.

I have been using sellers off the site Fiverr, which is a great site and the cost is reasonable, just do your research on the seller before buying. Everyone is not who they say they are. Fiverr offers a large variety of sellers and gigs that you may be seeking such as, editing, voice overs, blogging, website design to name a few.

Beta-reader or No Beta-reader????

I am leaning towards hiring a beta-reader for my next books before releasing. I need a third pair of eyes outside of my editor and myself before publishing anything else. I need to get as close as possible to perfection. That’s where a beta-reader comes in, they read your manuscript and critique it for content, grammar, character, the structure so on and so forth. But, I am back on the grind with these short stories, so let’s see what the outcome will provide. Open to any feedback you may have.  Would be greatly appreciated. If you know of anyone in any of these fields I have just mentioned above, please feel free to refer.

Reached My Goal! Yayyyy!!!!!

Not sure if you remember me mentioning that I had a goal to read fifty books this 2016 year. Well, today I finished book #50! I have read so many different genres from various authors, and it was only less than five books that I didn’t like. Most were interesting reads. I love reading. I won’t set a goal for 2017, but I will continue to read. I still have about twenty-five books to read that were received from new and seasoned authors that I promised to give reviews. Read on!

It’s Beginning To Look Like Christmas.

Keeping my list short and on the budget this year. You have to learn to be frugal about holiday shopping because money will get away from you quickly and next thing you know, finances are low, and bills have to be pushed back another month. Can’t keep up with the Joneses nor can we keep up with every new electronic device. Some things just have to wait. Learn to appreciate what you have, you will treasure it more. Don’t just give because it’s asked for but because it was well deserved.  Learning to be responsible and earning things that you receive is all a part of maturity.  This for folk that don’t always plan ahead for the holiday season. Think I went a bit of script. But you get the message. Lol.

Be safe while shopping, be aware of your surroundings and locations.

 

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. 

 

 

Available for purchase.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Have I Been Up To!

2016-09-17-09-42-34What I’ve Been Up To!

by Petite Breaux 

 

 

 

Last movie I saw on the big screen.

My mother is in town from Kansas City Mo visiting for a while.

Last weekend we went to see the movie “The Accountant” with Ben Affleck. download-2I give it a 7, something was missing from the movie. It had action and drama but some parts seemed to drag. Overall, I would say hmm, I liked it. I liked the concept of

 

 

 

The Holidays are upon us.

Halloween night tried to decorate outside of the home a little, getting in the spirit of it all. Last minute decision to put makeup on my face and dress all in black while I sit outside with a pumpkin full of candy as I wait for my little trick or treaters.

Makeup didn’t turn out as expected, maybe next year I will try again.

What I am watching on Netflix.

I started watching a Netflix show “Z NATION” the apocalypse, it’s corny but I can’t stop watching.

Citizen Z has alerted everyone to a bounty for safely getting The Murphy to California, which he was lying just so that Murphy would no be killed, but this has caused all sorts of chaos. Everyone is now out to kill one another for this so-called bounty money.

Everything is zombies and walking dead. The guy called DJ Qualls (Citizen Z), he has played in mv5bnzg0nte4njmwn15bml5banbnxkftztgwoty3ntc2nje-_v1-_sx93_sy140_several other movies, but I remember him from Hustle and Flow. Did he get his cheeks lifted or Botox or something? I read about him being a cancer survivor, pray he continues to stay in good health and continues with his acting career. He is funny.

 

Update on Children’s book.

Children’s book as I have stated before has been completed, but there is one issue of finding someone to do illustrations. I just want stencil illustrations in black and white, one illustration per chapter. Once I get this taken care of, I can send the manuscript for publishing through Createspace. Hopefully, this task can be completed within the next three weeks.

What I’m writing.

Absolutely nothing! I need to be writing my next short stories.

I am getting back into my schedule of writing, I had taken a break and it’s hard getting back in the saddle. Between work, exercise, Rosetta Stone and all other minor things that come up, it’s hard to sit down and write. No more excuses, if I plan to get these stories completed, I must write even if it’s only fifteen minutes per day.

Will be updating you again soon, until then, keep smiling.

Oh! One more thing before I go.

2016-11-23-06-00-03No matter where you are, I pray that you have a safe and loving holiday. Safe travels to all,  arrive unharmed to your destination. Enjoy your time spent with family and friends. Love, peace, respect and happiness.

 

 

Before you go:

Books available for purchase.

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smarshwords

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kobo

amazon

goodread

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